Olaf Falfel
We named our children War and Peace – it’s a long story.
Andrew Doherty
At my lowest, I was kicked out of the museum for being inappropriate with Michelangelo’s David. I’d hit rock bottom.
Bella Hull
I just got a personal trainer. She’s horrible to me but my body goal is a thicker skin.
Rob Auton
Everyone is worried about AI. I’m more concerned with what the other vowels are up to.
Ian Smith
People who say bath bombs are relaxing have clearly never tried to carry one home in the rain.
Amelia Hamilton
I love getting Latin chat-up lines. I carpe every DM.
Sikisa
This spider has been in my house so long, it should pay half the wifi. As a web developer, it can afford to.
Chris Grace
I went on a date with a matador but there were too many red flags.
Candace Bryan
America is like my ex-boyfriend. Our relationship was toxic, when I left everyone called me brave, and now every morning I pull up social media to see how ugly he’s getting.
Rajiv Karia
I’m not nostalgic but I used to be. Those were the days.